Jokes ha ha (MAST hai)

 

 

Sardaron par bahut jokes suney hai, here are some Baniya Jokes…. 

 

> Baniya:Yeh kela(banana) kaisay diya?

> Shopkeeper: 1Rs.

> Baniya: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?

> S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.

> Baniya: Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de

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> Baniya on his death time.

> My wife, where r u ?

> Wife:Yes, I'm here

> My sons daughters ru all here?

> Yes, Papa

> Baniya:To phir brabar wale kamre ka pankha Q khula hay ???

:D:D:D 

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> Baniya 14th floor se neche gira

> Girte waqt usne apni ghar ki khirki me apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha to chilla k bola

> MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!

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> Baniya ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.

> Sheikh ne usay MERCEDEZ gift kardi.

> Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,

> Baniya ne phir khoon dia.

> Ab k bar Sheikh ne till waly laddu gift kiye,

> Baniya: (Gusse se), mercedez kion nahi di?

> Sheikh:Munna…!! Ab hamarey ander bhi baniye ka khoon dor raha hay

:)

 

 

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> Baniya called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?

> NewsPaper:  Rs.50 per word.

> Baniya: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho "Chacha Guzar Gaye".

> Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!

> Baniya: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do..... Acha likho....... ......... .

> Chacha Guzar Gaye - Maruti for Sale

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> Baniya ask to Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?

> Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.

> Baniya ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:

> Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.

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> Titanic K Sath Baniya Bhi Doob Raha Tha

> Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha

> Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?

> Baniya: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda

Ultimate truth.............!!!

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy. The road to success??.. Is always under construction. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening or married to someone else.   Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak. Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works. If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried. You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side. Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner. As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens. He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule. If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late. Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate. When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions. If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls. Especially for Students---- If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance. You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming. The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom. After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be more crowded than the other. If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight. Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

Some Childhood Memories

Ok here is something we used to listen a lot long back in our childhood days. I will try to add as many things as I can with the videos, audios and other related things. Do remind me if I am missing something or if you think something you liked long back and I would try to add it here.

Ek Chidiya Anek Chidiya Doordarshan Video

Ek Chidiya Anek Chidiya was a lot common in those days, it was inspirational and as a kid we used to enjoy it a lot. No wonder it still remains in our memories as fresh as it was that time. It was the starting phase of Indian animation I think, though I am not very sure.

Jungle book ( Mowgli )

How can we forget this, waited every Sunday for The Jungle Book. We were so crazy for this that I don’t know somehow nothing used to look good in front of this cute little animation series. That was in fact a wonderful story, the way it was told, the amount of curiosity it used to arouse, that’s why it still remains so sweetly in our memories.

Talespin

Remember this.? God!!! Even the song is soo good. Ballu, Madam Mahalingam, Sherkhan and their adventures. I liked the cute little daughter of Madam Mahalingam. Wish I could see the whole series and stories again. It will be a difficult task to search all those.

Duck Tales

Uncle Scrooge, the boys, the Launchpad and his all time crash landing, awesome story, cool characters. It was one of few animations at least I used to wait.

He-Man

Of-course you can't forget the He-Man The masters of the Universe.

Mile Sur Mera Tumhara

This was really good. Whenever I used to see this video, I used to be so proud. Somehow things have changed a lot. I wish the spirit could be revoked and people could be more close. Anyways, enjoy the video

Surabhi - Theme Song

This serial was soo popular at that time and I think Indian postal department brought the concept of completion post card due to this serial only. So many people used to watch and reply. If I remember correctly at that time the cost of a post card was 15 paisa and people used to use that for replying to the Surbhi, but they brought the concept of competition postcard soon after that. Anyways that was one good serial, reminds me of the old days.

Baje Sargam

Here's one more!!!!!!!!
Baje Sargam har disha se phool ban ker deshraj, another old video.

Purab Se Surya Uga

And another one!!!!!

School Chale Hum

And another one!!!!!!!!!!!

Amul The Taste of India Commercial

A very old Amul advertisement.

Jalebee - Dhara Advertisement.

This is so simple and cute advertisement, that everyone feels that he/she is the kid in the ad. Very touchy and lovely.

Doodh Doodh Doodh Doodh Doodh Doodh hai wonderful
Doodh Doodh Doodh Doodh Doodh Doodh hai wonderful pe saktahin hai roj glassful.

My search for old goodies led to this Doordarshan National blog, Oh God!!! someone has already worked hard on this. Ok I will add only those old memories which are difficult to find anywhere. You can see this blog Doordarshan National for some more old DD videos.

Things you can do when you are bored as hell !!!!!!!!!!!

Life is short, but people do get lot of time in fact to the extent that they get bored of it. I have gone through that time too. I understand there are times when due to reasons nothing looks good and one don't feel like doing anything. But it’s important to get yourself involved with the things you like. Like developing hobbies and many other things, this not only helps developing yourself and knowing things better. Here are few things I have explored and tired to kill boredom, hope it helps someone.

1. Chatting: There are many chatting service providers. Yahoo, Rediff, MSN, Skype and a lot many others. The good thing about them is that you get open to a lot of people on net all are one of a kind. It will help you to know people and save you from getting bored.
2. Blogging: There are many thing you can do by blogging. From giving your opinion to developing reader fans to earning money etc. And there are many such service providers like Blogspot, Google Pages, TypePad, WordPress, Weebly, and many more. There are many paid ones also but for the starters it will be good to have a working hand on the free ones and they are really good.
3. Reading Blogs: Someone has to read the blog too. There are lots of good blogs available with various stuffs, information, things to do, music, movies, fun stuffs, life styles, science and technology, news, stories, personal opinions. Here are few interesting blogs I have listed, I am sure you can find more on web.
4. Movies: There are reviews, trailers, news, awards and many happening things to explore. Some are so interesting, some are normal and there are many time wasting movies. Help yourself to save time to find what to see and what to avoid, so that you can see more what you like to, rather then wasting time on something not so good to watch. There are the places on World Wide Web you can read about them. There are few interesting movies I have seen and are of my interests. Here are few which I like, A Beautiful Mind (2001), The Matrix, Species, MIB, Chameli, The Pursuit of Happyness, Bee Movie, Ratatouille, Wednesday.
5. Games: Wow! When it comes to games I am always ready. They are cute, controllable, and inspired by life. I am a total gaming freak. It helps me to think fast, logical, control computer much better and of course helps in killing time as nothing else. Many free online and offline games available. Hope it helps you.
6. Learning Computers: There are many online tutorials that are good to learn many things. For about computers to learning programming languages and various others related things. I have found this very helpful LearnersTV.com; it has covered various subjects in the following fields.
• Biology Courses
• Physics Courses
• Chemistry Courses
• Maths Courses
• Computer Courses
• Medical Courses
• Engineering Courses
• Management Courses

I have seen lectures in Computer notes and found them very interesting. The topics that are covered are:

• Introduction to Java Programming
• Computer Science-Understanding Computers and the Internet
• XML Foundations Course
• Operating Systems and System Programming
• Fundamentals of C Programming
• Computer Networks
• Introduction to Computer Graphics
• Database Management System
• Internet Technologies
• Principles of Programming Languages
• Systems Analysis and Design
• Software Engineering
• Artificial Intelligence
• Data Structures and Algorithms
• Data Communication

They alone may not be very helpful for you to learn things but if someone is desperate enough to learn, along with a good book, I think these lectures are going to be more then help.

Another good place to look for learning computer language and related things is O'Reilly; they have lots and lots of books on the subject. I am sure this site may not be un-familiar to anyone in the field of computer science. I am sure you can find the book of your choice.

7. Networking: You can make friends and get lots of emotional turmoil. Here is someone who did a lot of work on this and I don't think I can do a better review on social networking sites then her in this aspect, so without increasing the lode over World Wide Web it will be better to give link to her article HERE, It will help you to communicate and have people around to read and talk to you.
8. To be continued..................